Chapter One

Tuesday 15th January 2008

*Whoop, Whoop, Beep, beep, beeeeep*

The. Alarm. Is. Going. Off. Again. ARGH. I open my eyes and wake into some sort of consciousness and reach over to my bedside radio alarm. I see that it is the unbelievably early time of 6.30am so I decide to hit the snooze button and casually roll back over to sleep on my left side. OUCCCH! It is so early in the morning that I forget that my left side is where I got sunburnt on Saturday during my day at the beach.

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Yes Mum, Saturday I spent the whole day at the beach without wearing sunscreen. It was early in the morning and my best friend and I were sitting around at her place in front of her pedestool fan catching up on the latest goss. After the tenth time of saying, "Fuck it is hot today" we decided that it would be a fantastic day for the beach. So off we headed to the Sunshine Coast for the cool ocean breeze and a swim in the salty, cool and crystal blue water that we both love so much. As we were heading out the door I threw two CLEO magazines into my bag and a Two-for-one coffee voucher for this lovely new cafe that had just opened on the boardwalk near the jetty.

The road trip was one of the usual, two twenty-something ladies singing at the tops of their lungs to old Spice Girl songs and the latest Rihanna lyrics, of course interrpreting our own in an out of tune screaching kind of noise, "Now that it's not raining any more, even though we still have each other, you can't stand under my Umbrella - ella ella eh eh eh", my friend and I sing in chorus. Sam wound down the window and in case no body else on the high way could hear us screaming at the top of her lungs, "Ella ella eh eh eh, under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh".

I laugh and reply in a TV show voice, "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why no one should audition for Australian Idol and instead should sing on the open high ways with the breeze upon your face".

My friend laughs, "Was it that bad? Actually, don't answer that I know I'm better than anyone on Australian Idol, which is why my dear I have never lined up for auditions".

"Oh but I know you want to", I laugh.

Sam pauses, "You're right, if there is one goal in life that I have it is auditioning in front of Kyle Sandilands....oh he is one sexy beast". I smile, Sam and I get on so well because of our sarcasm. Sometimes know one else would understand what we were saying but each other. We have often confused people or annoyed them in situations where our sarcasm has got us into trouble.

We laugh and continue on in silence for a while listening to the music. The rest of the day is much the same. A little bit of laughter and chatter, gossip and telling of secrets and lying in the sun drinking cappuccinos and reading the last CLEO magazines. Before we knew it, it was 4pm in the afternoon and I was feeling very dizzy from the sunstroke. We had been in the sun for almost six hours. It was definately time for us to make our way home.

It was somewhere on our way back to Brisbane that I realise I am very, very sunburnt, SORE and starting to look like a beetroot. When I was younger I never quite got that saying, 'You're as red as a beetroot', because in my world, beetroots were purple. It wasn't until my grade 5 teacher we were in cooking class and had to include beetroots for the recipe. There were pictures of all the vegetables we were using, and I could swear that the beetroot looked like a raddish. I was responsible for bringing in the beetroot for cooking class, our teacher told us it was important we brought in all of the ingredients. I went home and told Mum I needed a raddish for school the next day. Mum couldn't quite understand why we would be cooking with raddishes as they're a bit too hot for children to eat. The next day, off I went into school, pulled out the raddishes and I got laughed at. Everyone thought it was hilarious that I had brought in a raddish instead of a beetroot. I didn't think it was that funny. Everyday since then I have cringed everytime I've heard that saying.

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My body jolts again and tells me that I need to roll over onto my right side because the blisters and usclers on the left side of my stomach are uncomfortable and very sore to lie on. That'll teach me for staying out in the sun for hours on a hot summer's day. I groan and hit the snooze button again after my alarm starts blaring. This is my normal routine in the morning. You see, I set my alarm in time to allow me to press the snooze button 3 or 4 times. If I need to be awake at 7am, then I will set my alarm for 6:20am. That gives me 40 minutes of dozing in and out of consciousness and pressing the snooze button. I have never been one of these jump up and go people in the morning, it takes me a while to figure out where I am and what day it is. With 40 minutes of drifting in and out of sleeping, it gives me enough time to feel like I've had a decent sleep in. And sleep ins are important. Especially with a hangover after drinking the night before.